Disclaimer:
The stories and images shared below are dramatized and not representative of actual participants. Names and details have been altered to protect the identities of the children.
Hi readers,
I wanted to give you a little sneak peek inside my divorce support group that runs once a month for children of separated or divorced parents. Each session is unique, drawing inspiration from a different artist every time, and this month we focused on Yayoi Kusama.
Before delving into the life and work of the Japanese artist, we started with some psychodrama icebreakers to engage the participants and help them connect with each other by sharing experiences. We used three different psychodrama techniques: locograms, spectrograms, and a “who like me” exercise to increase sociometry in the group. Sociometric exercises provide a skillful way to help group members find commonalities, breaking through the barriers of isolation and terminal uniqueness.
Psychodrama Techniques
Locogram: A locogram is a warm-up exercise that involves physical movement to locations around the space to answer the questions. I used different colored circles to identify the answer areas. Some example questions we utilized were:
Living Arrangements: Do you live mostly with one parent, or do you split time equally between both?
Areas for: "Mostly one parent," "Equally split”, “Other.”
Favorite Activities: What’s your favorite activity to do with your mom/dad?
Areas for: "Outdoor activities," "Indoor activities," "Cooking," "Playing board games," etc.
Support Systems: Who do you talk to the most about your feelings?
Areas for: "Parents," "Friends," "Siblings," "Teachers," "Counselors."
Holiday Traditions: How do you spend holidays now?
Areas for: "With both parents together," "Separate holidays with each parent," "Alternate years," "With extended family."
Coping Strategies: How do you cope with feeling sad or upset about the divorce?
Areas for: "Talking to someone," "Playing sports," "Drawing/painting," "Writing," "Listening to music."
Spectrogram: A spectrogram uses a sliding scale in an action-based format to allow group members to see where they fit in. Some of the questions we utilized were:
Feeling Supported: How supported do you feel by your parents during the divorce?
One side for "very supported," the other for "not supported at all."
Communication: How comfortable are you talking to your parents about your feelings?
One side for "very comfortable," the other for "not comfortable at all."
Friendships: How easy is it for you to talk to your friends about your parents' divorce?
One side for "very easy," the other for "very hard."
Adaptation: How quickly did you adapt to the changes after the divorce?
One side for "very quickly," the other for "still adapting."
School Experience: How much has the divorce affected your school experience?
One side for "not at all," the other for "a lot."
Who Like Me: The “who like me” exercise is similar to a step-in circle where group members come up with criteria about things true for them and are curious to see if the statement is true for other members. The statements we utilized started with the ones below, and then the participants came up with their own:
Feelings About Divorce: Who like me sometimes feels confused or sad about their parents’ divorce?
Favorite Parent Activities: Who like me has a favorite activity they do with each parent?
Pet Support: Who like me has a pet that helps them feel better?
Friend Support: Who like me has a friend they talk to about their parents' divorce?
Holiday Traditions: Who like me celebrates holidays differently now compared to before the divorce?
After these exercises, we took a break and then gathered to learn more about Yayoi Kusama.
Yayoi Kusama: An Artistic Inspiration
Yayoi Kusama is a renowned Japanese contemporary artist known for her extensive use of polka dots and infinity nets. Born in 1929, Kusama has been open about her mental health struggles, which have significantly influenced her art. She began experiencing vivid hallucinations involving patterns and dots at a young age, which she later incorporated into her work as a form of "self-obliteration" (The Art Story) (Wikipedia).
Kusama moved to New York in 1958, where she became part of the avant-garde scene and contributed to the pop-art movement. Her installations often involve large-scale, immersive environments filled with repetitive patterns and mirrored surfaces, such as her famous "Infinity Mirror Rooms" and "Narcissus Garden" (Wikipedia) (MoMA).
She believes we are all dots in the universe and connected through these dots. Kusama uses art-making to increase calm and peacefulness, transforming her personal struggles into a therapeutic process.
The directives given to participants after learning about Yayoi were: “How do you connect with others?” and “Using inspiration from Yayoi, how would you share your connection with others?” This activity encouraged them to explore their own experiences of connection and express them through creative means.
Stories of Connection
Child 1: Embracing Playful Connections
Meet Alex, a spirited and sociable child who loves making friends. In our session, Alex's artwork was a joyful explosion of large, colorful circles painted on a sprawling piece of paper. Using a playful array of shapes and vibrant colors, Alex's circles danced across the canvas, reflecting their lively personality and ease in forming connections with peers.
Alex shared, "I like playing games with my friends. We laugh a lot and have so much fun together." Their art mirrored this sentiment, with each circle representing a different friend and the joy they bring into Alex's life. The bright, overlapping circles symbolize the way Alex's relationships interweave, creating a dynamic and happy tapestry of social connections.
Child 2: Finding Their Place in the World
Next, we have Jamie, a thoughtful and introspective child who often contemplates their place in the grand scheme of things. Jamie's artwork took a different turn, using darker grays and smudged painted circles on a small piece of paper. The overlapping and blurred edges of the circles symbolize Jamie's feelings of uncertainty and search for identity in a world that sometimes feels overwhelming.
Jamie explained, "Sometimes I feel like just one dot in a big world, and it's hard to know where I fit in." Their art captured this sentiment, with each gray circle representing a part of Jamie's journey to understand their role and find connection amidst the chaos. Despite the darker tones, there was a quiet beauty in the way the circles came together, hinting at Jamie's emerging sense of self and the connections they were beginning to forge.
Child 3: Navigating Physical Spaces of Connection
Finally, we meet Sam, a child who explores connections through physical spaces. Sam's artwork featured three distinct colors, spread out across a smaller piece of paper, with each color representing different physical spaces where they feel connected. The circles were more spaced out, symbolizing Sam's need for boundaries and clarity in their relationships.
Sam shared, "I like having my own space, but I also like knowing that I'm connected to others." Their art reflected this balance, with each circle representing a different area in their life—home, school, and the support group. The thoughtful placement of the circles showed Sam's understanding of how these spaces connect and influence each other, creating a harmonious balance of individuality and connection.
Conclusion
These stories illustrate the diverse ways children navigate connections and relationships, particularly in the context of divorce. Through the lens of Yayoi Kusama's art, they found a powerful means to express their emotions and experiences, transforming feelings of isolation into beautiful, interconnected patterns.
Our session highlighted that, just like Kusama's dots, each child's experiences and connections are unique yet part of a larger, intricate picture. By exploring their inner worlds through art, the children discovered that they are not alone; they are all essential dots in the vibrant tapestry of our support group community.
Stay tuned for more updates on our future sessions and the incredible stories of resilience and creativity from our participants.
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